Feed for thought.

It has taken over our world and it has changed everything about it.  Things have become much more complicated. I’m sure every generation will say things were simpler when they were children, but I think it’s changed dramatically for our generation. In the 1900’s information doubled every century, after WWII every 25 years, currently every 13 months and one paper by IBM predicts that soon knowledge will double every 12 hours! Insanity. Makes my head spin thinking about it. I’d say things are changing.

As a kid I remember listening to the news every night at 5:00. The national news followed by the local news. We trusted the news, and the news only changed from one day to the next. Now we have a storm of information, that changes by the second, and we no longer trust what we read. The truth has become relative and there’s someone out there that will promote whatever perspective you prescribe to, whether it’s the truth or not. It’s confusing, disconnecting and troubling.

I realized the other day, that my personal feed whether on Instagram,  Twitter or Facebook, looked vastly different from the feed for #hopeandlaughter. I realized that after reading the feed for my personal account I was disheartened and without hope, but when I read the feed associated with #hopeandlaughter I was encouraged and uplifted. I got to thinking about what I was putting in my head and the power these words had over me. Somewhere along the way, someone taught us that silly rhyme about “words will never hurt me,” and we all know that words are powerful, and can either be destructive or uplifting. (Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”) I realized more and more how what I read, effected my mood and how I saw the world. Please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying here, and believe I’m leaning towards an extreme. It’s not my place to tell you what to read, watch or listen to. What I am encouraging you to do is pay attention, be aware of what you are reading, watching and listening to and how it affects your mood.  There’s a reason you listen to certain kinds of music when you’re mad or sad or when you need to be motivated to run, work-out or finish that assignment. So while it’s clear when things are helping us, it’s not always clear when things are hurting, harming or bringing us down.

So take time this week to pay attention to what you are listening to, reading, and watching. How it’s effecting your mood? How is effecting how you think, and how you view yourself.  I’m not here to tell you what to watch, read or listen to, because everyone is different, but I am here to ask you to be aware. Fill your heart and mind with things that will encourage you.  And remember, what works for you, may not work for someone else, so don’t compare notes and don’t ask for others opinions. You do you!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 NIV


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The Why

This can’t be happening again? That’s the question I asked myself a year ago when I was diagnosed with depression for the third time. After an almost complete lifestyle change how am I here again? All these questions, lead me here, writing a blog post, putting myself out there, and seeing what happens. The fact that I’m even writing a blog post is laughable enough. I have no professional skill, I’m not a good writer, I’ve never been published, the list goes on.  The one thing I do have is experience and if I don’t share my experiences, everything I learned and am learning, all the tools, encouragement and knowledge I’ve gained over the past 22 years is wasted. 

Struck by lightning, electrocuted, hair standing on end, with my finger still stuck in the socket, pretty much sums it up.  I didn’t see it coming, one day I was driving the car on cruise control, with the top down, my hair blowing and jamming to some Rihanna, the next day, I’m in the backseat, someone else is driving and I have no idea how I get there. Depression, wasn’t supposed to come back, not now, in my mind not ever. I had beat it. Eight years, with no issues, a healthy marriage, financially stable, two healthy children, an abundance of family and friends. It just didn’t make sense. Hadn’t I done all the “right” things to prevent it? The first two times I got depression made sense to me. This one didn’t. There was no big drama in my life, no life changing event, (from my perspective), so why now? 

So this time around was going to be different, I was mad, I was equipped, still depressed, but ready to do battle. I knew what to expect, or so I thought. Things weren’t going how I planned, the tools that had worked before weren’t working anymore, I was actually becoming depressed, about being depressed again. You can see how this could become a vicious cycle. A vicious cycle that could lead me plummeting down a mountain into a ditch I could never get out of. It was hard enough the first two times, but this time seemed even worse. 

 How could someone at 38 years old get her third round of depression, and feel completely hopeless, and utterly dumbfounded. In an age where information is everywhere, resources are abundant, and communication is accessible, why was there nothing out there? Why is all the information about depression discouraging, hopeless and completely out of touch?  Why are the authors of the majority of books about depression being written by those who’ve never experienced it? The list of questions could go on. Basically I found no hope for someone like me. So instead of trying to search for hope, laughter, joy, encouragement and peace, I decided I’d create it for myself, and maybe just maybe, share it with others. 

#hopeandlaughter #anxiety #depression #iamnottheonlyone #thewhy

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