Last year over eight million people suffered the loss of someone in their immediate family. (http://www.griefspeaks.com/id113.html) Let that sink in, their immediate family. That’s a lot of hurting people. Grief is as much a part of life as death and taxes. It’s guaranteed. We all will lose someone we love, and our hearts will break. The question is how we can practically help our neighbors, friends and family through these times? There’s no better time to show the love of Christ. You can show others who Christ is without ever even mentioning His name.
- Cook them a meal. If you aren’t in to cooking (or you aren’t a good cook) pick up food from their favorite restaurant. I’d strongly encourage you to not just send them a meal but take the time to hand deliver it. If you’re on you’re a game, bring them a second meal frozen. This is time as well to splurge on good food, because in the hours of grieving you tend not to eat and when you do it’s been awhile.
- Drop by their house unexpectedly or call them on the phone. As time passes those who are grieving are still in pain, while the funeral is over, and the planning is done those left behind are still in pain. Six months after losing a major family member you are still hurting like it happened yesterday. You still need someone to say I remember that your life has changed, and I still need someone to say I remember.
- Invite them over.One of the hardest things after someone has died is the quiet. I mean quiet like you have never experienced. Quiet because someone is no longer there. Their walk, their smile, their presence, always knowing they’ll be in that same chair. There is great comfort in the consistency of someone you love. There is also great emptiness when they are gone. The loss is felt and noticed.
- Do the daily tasks.For us there were so many things to think about. So many things that other person did you don’t even realize until they’re gone. Offer to mow their lawn, take care of their kids, send them out to do something for themselves. Help with chores around the house. Sometimes the simplest of tasks can be the most daunting because you’re so overwhelmed by all the other big changes.
- Do all of these things even a year later.For the most part 3 months later, most of these things are forgotten and you go back to your life, but theirs is forever altered. Theirs will never look the same. Everything is different, and a new normal is beginning to develop. A new normal with a very large hole.
Above all else pray for this person. Pray frequently and often. Bring them into your life into your every day. You don’t need to get out your best china, and prepare the fanciest meal, just have them over and fix what you have. My best memories of dinner with families involved the comfort of the chaos. A house full of kids and friends and smack in the middle of their daily routines. Nothing fancy, nothing special, nothing to make me feel set apart. The greatest gift you can give is inviting them in to your every day.
What are some practical things people have done for you in your hour of grief?
Above all love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 4: 8-9