No more fluff.
The past month has been a punch to the gut. Between my knee injury, finding my new normal for working-out, my diet has slipped and my discipline has suffered because I got out of a routine. I’ve realized that because I’ve slipped my whole family has slipped. Our diet has been haphazard, and what I do sets the tone for my family. No pressure right?
On top of all this there have been personal battles behind the scenes that have taken the wind out of my sails so to speak. Mark loosing his job in 2017 has taken much longer to recover from then I ever dreamed of. We laughed the other day because our tolerance for bullshit is pretty much at a 1 on a scale of 10. We feel depleted and with not much to give in a season where we desperately need to be poured into. By the way it’s OK to admit that you need to be served, loved and poured into. Not all seasons can we pour heavily into others. Between raising children, a husband who travels, guarding our time as a family, developing community and keeping up with the busy school schedule there’s just not much room for fluff. People that are always in competition, people that care more about what others think, or people that just aren’t willing to be raw and honest, what you see is what you get from us.
Fellowship decreases depression.
Our dear friends invited us to the Spurs/Lakers games with unbelievable seats, and we moved mountains because these are our people. They know us well, the laugh with us, they make fun of us (because we all need to take ourselves less seriously), they are honest, they encourage us and we leave filled up and not depleted. We were so honored that they asked us. They are in the thick of it, three week old twins, a two year old, moving houses, and they chose us. Doesn’t it feel great to be chosen? Our response was a hell yes! In the words of Jen Hatmaker if it’s not a Hell yes than it’s a no. That quote has stuck with me. Lysa Teurkerst’s book The Best Yes follows this same line of thinking, but taking it a step further and realizing that saying yes means you say no to others and you could be saying no to things you enjoy in order to pursue with wholeheartedness the things that you love.
When depression knocks you down.
I’ve realized one thing over these last several weeks that when life kicks me down, I can’t retreat, I can’t pretend that I don’t get knocked down too. That’s not authentic, if I expect so much of myself and of others in my day to day life, then the same expectation goes for my presence on my blog and social media.
I apologize that when life knocked me down, I retreated, I licked my wounds and desired to shut down, But you know what? It made it worse. Writing is my passion, writing is never a chore, writing leaves me energized, and I knew I was making a bad decision when I stopped writing. I let the devil steal my joy and allowed him to prevent me from using my gift. Through all of this I thought of all the things that I could write about, but I never did it. I never sat down and expressed what was on my heart. Part of sharing my journey is sharing all of my journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. So I hope in light of my withdrawal, you’ll still hang with me, you’ll still fight this battle with me because I’m not stopping. When we get knocked down we gotta get right back up again!
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24